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Hyperaggressive femininity

October 7, 2016, 2:18 pm
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Sometimes, it's not the joke but how you tell it.  I can always get my SO to laugh in session by telling a long joke, as long as I'm screaming and pleading hysterically for mercy as I try to get the words out.

Sorry about the joke, by the way.  Works better with nuns... one of the few things that does.
 


Oh well.  Potentially there's reincarnation to look forward to, I guess.
 


Typical woman.  Why not just discuss it straight away?  So much more efficient.
 


That's not strictly accurate.  He actually can complain.  As much as he likes really.
 


Reminds me of the way my SO 'helps' me with the housework sometimes,

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Domme-splaining

October 11, 2016, 12:33 am
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And don't worry if you find yourself crying at night, miserable, love-lorn and alone, OK? Cos she's fine with that too.
 


You don't want to be one of those men that just satisifies his own sexual desire and leaves her unfulfilled, do you?  No? Didn't think so. Up you get, then.  Don't forget to scream on the way down.
 


I used to have this problem of my sessions being over too quickly.  So I complained to my domme and now we have this system whereby my session officially 'starts' 23 hours before I actually arrive.  I get a 10% discount off the usual hourly rate too, so it's a good deal really.



So many new things to understand in this relationship.  The dictionary's a big help.  So's the shock collar, of course.


What a lovely spanking bench.  Don't you think?
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Blonde justice

October 14, 2016, 12:51 am
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Yes.  Someone needs to let her know that you just can't get a toilet bowl really clean by licking it, either. Will you tell her, or shall I?



Mmmm... nine-and-a-half times the fun!
 I'm not generally a big fan of the US 'mean young women' style of femdom, but Miami Mean Girls is really pretty good.  I think it's the same as AmericanMeanGirls too. There's a lady called Goddess Rodea (that's not her, above) who I think is particularly wonderful.  Worth a look.


Your kink is not her kink.  Which is just as well, or you'd have to murder her, and think how awful that would be.



Could even have a key-swapping party.  Such fun, until someone loses a key and then there's weeks of recrimination and tears.





It's going to be hard to carry all that shopping with a broken arm. Perhaps you could ask for the arm to be broken later, when you're back?  What's that?  You think that sort of impertinence might just annoy her? Yeah, probably right. Oh well, one-armed shopping it is.
Goddess Lexi of course, featured on Femdom Empire.
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Back to his place

October 18, 2016, 5:37 am
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That seems very cruel.  My own SO is much kinder - she's got me on a diet consisting almost entirely of  fatty bacon sandwiches and chocolate cake!  Yum.  She wants me to take up smoking too.  She's thoughtful like that.



There's actually a Lifetime Achievement category at the annual snuff movie awards, but strangely no-one's ever claimed it.

Well... OK. As long as she listens to his concerns this time.  Last time, she decided she needed to pee right in the middle of the conversation and I think he never got to say everything he intended.


There you are, you see?  Now why did she let him get like that? Too soft on him, that's what she is.







This blog doesn't often feature dominant males, so say hi to Master Rod.  You won't be seeing him often, but maybe he'll be brought out to play from time to time.
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Simple instructions

October 21, 2016, 4:31 am
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Of course, if you're fetish happens to be 'working all the hours there are in a mindnumbingly dull office job to earn money for her to spend on male prostitutes' then you've really hit the jackpot here.


There are painful side effects if you take less than the recommended dose, by the way.



There were actually supposed to be a lot more men there, but Clara messed up the email invitation. If you think you're uncomfortable, just imagine how she's feeling right now!




Oh. OK, then.


Hmm. I wonder what she's planning to keep in there, then, if not you?
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Subjugated

October 25, 2016, 4:42 am
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Ah... reminds me of my collaring ceremony.  It happened right here, actually, not three feet away from where I am crouching right now.


I'm very aware of sexism in the workplace, being one of the more inferior members of the inferior gender.


I don't understand men who send women pictures of their penises.  I mean, it's just asking for trouble.  Like waving a raw steak in front of a hungry leopard.


On the plus side, his steel tube is a lot bigger than mine or yours.


You say "Yes, please".
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Losing my religion

October 28, 2016, 5:05 am
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OK, so my bitlocked external drive has had a bit of an old crash and makes nasty clicky grindy noises when it tries to go (and there is no way I am taking that particular collection of corrupted files to a computer expert recovery place, thank you).  So I've lost a few months of stuff since the last backup.  And by good luck, I haven't lost any of the captions I posted during that time but I have lost the file structure that tells me whether I have ever posted them before or not.

So, for the next few months or so, if you find yourself thinking that CtD is even more repetitive and tedious than usual, it probably is and it might be because I'm repeating myself with an image I've already posted some time between July and October this year. Tell me in the comments and I won't replace it directly, but I'll add a sixth image to the next post.  Or something.

Anyway, the show limps on despite technical difficulties, so here we go again:


I've nothing to say about this one.  Not for another four months, anyway.


She's got a point there.  One of the mistakes newly maried couples often make is thinking they have to do everything together.  There are lots of things my SO and I do separately - for example, being chained up naked cold and alone in the cellar is my special thing and there's no reason for her not to go out clubbing while I'm doing it.


Don't judge them too harshly. Most new dommes mess up their first breathplay session. Plenty more subs out there, so it really doesn't matter.




Sooner or later most subs realise it's not all about them. Some lucky ones eventually realise it's not about them at all.



'k.
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Effortless superiority

November 1, 2016, 6:28 am
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Oh well. Being beaten by Simon's no fun, but there'll be other guests who want a go too, so...


It's good when fetishes are complementary* like that.  A friend of mine went on a date with a girl he really fancied, who turned out to have a castration fetish - and that just wasn't his thing at all. So he hasn't dated her since.  Or anyone, come to think of it.   Sad, really.


Of course, it's not just about penis length.  Girth matters too.


Crush fetish again!


Oh.  OK.  (Damn!)


* Now come on, EditorDomme!  Is there another fetish blog anywhere on the Internet that knows the difference between complementary and complimentary?  As you know I take (and ocasionally receive) a lot of pains over my grammar.  I could of just written any old rubbish, but I choose my words with care.


Note: due to technical incompetence out of my control, I don't have a good record of which captions I posted between July and October this year (and I am not looking through all the blog posts to check...).  So any males reading this who see a caption they've seen here before can do some work, for once in their lazy, feckless lives, and let me know in the comments.
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Helplessly devoted

November 4, 2016, 7:29 am
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When you wake up I'm sure you'll feel quite different.




Looks like some language lessons are in order!




It's good of Mike to make sure she's satisfied before he has his fun. He's thoughtful like that.




It can be difficult for stepchildren at first. Feelings of rage, resentment.  The books say it's best not to hold it in, so from the look of it things are going to turn out all right in this case.




Nice warm bath with a cast-lit novel, then a back-rub and pop Elastrating Edward into the DVD player.  Bliss.


...and an extra one, because of previous incompetent duplicate posting.  Thanks Ralph D!
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Unrequited contempt

November 8, 2016, 6:42 am
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It's always best to ask women in advance what they want. Imagine how awful it would be to spend an hour or two every day for a year writing 36,500 lines only to find out she'd really have preferred something else.



That's not how many kicks you're actually going to get, you understand.  She just wants to understand how guilty you feel.



With Brexit it's probably a good idea to own a few professionals based in Germany or France, too.  You know - diversify.



Just take one whenever you experience feelings of adequacy or self-confidence.



What an honour.
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If voting changed anything....

November 11, 2016, 1:13 am
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Generally this blog doesn't comment on political or topical events but...but... is there anyone out there who still thinks it's a good idea to let men vote?  I mean, really?  Could there be better proof that politics is just not something that we should bother our silly little heads about?  It's not as if I'd mind the smack of firm government in the right hands, but...

Oh well.  Life goes on and I suppose there are things to be thankful for.  Not being Estonian, Latvian or Lithuanian just now, for example.  

Probably best just to think about happier things, like torture, forced labour and humiliation.  So, back to business as usual.


Hmmm "breath play"?  Well, I guess being breathed upon can't be so bad.  Thank goodness - I thought she was in a vengeful mood after I broke that ornament of hers.


Actually, it's fairly obviously the whipping post by the fountain.  The one by the walled garden is already occupied by his lordship.


Of course, this isn't the first time he's been on his knees since then. In fact, he's rarely off them in her presence these days.





Devil Planet, Space 1999.  The gift that keeps on giving.



Actually her sister's much more the vicious sadist than she is.  She can only get off when she's making a man scream hysterically in pain. She keeps it very separate from her dentistry, though - she's professional like that.

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Happy Hathaday!

November 12, 2016, 11:08 am
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Thirty-four today and still stopping hearts!  Happy Hathaday to all the blog's regular readers.

I'm personally quite excited (well, as excited as the steel tube will let me) about Anne's new film, Colossal, in which she stomps all ovcer a South Korean city, causing mahem and destruction as she -

What's that you say?  The stomping is actually done by an insectoid CGI monster which might or might not be telepathically linked to Anne's character, or indeed might not be real?

Oh. That doesn't sound so much fun.  I wonder why they went with that.  When they could've...mmm.

Still, it's an Anne movie so you can bet I'll be saving up my pocket money for the next few weeks to be able to afford a cinema ticket. In the meantime, here are some Hathaptions... no, that's rubbish, erm, Anneotated Hatha.. erm... oh anyway, they're captioned images of The Divine and that's what this blog is all about.



 Three new ones:

 



 








And some of my favourites from the old ones you've seen before, so you don't have to go to the trouble of clicking 'Heart-stopping beauty' in the wordycloud there. Remarkably, this little collection represents considerably less than a third of the Anne captions I've done - but still manages to get very repetitive.  Amazing, huh?




















































 






















 



















...and my favouritest of all:






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Pay to obey

November 15, 2016, 9:00 am
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I do.

Just remember to tell yourself that he's just as humiliated by this as you are, OK?



Don't listen to them.  There's plenty of kinky three-way sex in your future - it's one of the most popular activities at the leather bar they're selling you to.
 


I could probably work with it, to be honest.
 
You know, I think sooner or later I have failed every single 'challenge' a domme's ever set for me in session.  I'm beginning to think they might be rigged.
 


It's good she isn't letting a little thing like that rock her confidence.  I'm sure her former client wouldn't have wanted that.
 
 
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Domestic violence

November 18, 2016, 2:39 pm
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I want readers of this blog to be quite clear: I am totally opposed to domestic violence.  Luckily for me, She isn't.

She's not a morning person.  Nor was he before he got married, come to think of it.


 
Jean and Roger are pretty cool, for a couple in their late 70s, huh?




Mnemonics very easily make juvenile subbies utterly nervous.



I suppose a tip is out of the question?
 The wonderful Lexi Sindel of course, who can be observed from a suitably safe distance at English Mansion and Femdom Empire, amongst other places.


Divorce can be a painful process.
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So a domme, her gimp and her money pig walk into a bar...

November 19, 2016, 3:34 pm
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Yeah, I wanna report a  missing sub.


You know – submissive?  Like a slave?


Well of course consensual.  Actually he begged.


OK, so he went missing this morning.  We kind of left him in the forest and then we couldn’t find him, so – 


Yeah, sure we looked. Five minutes at least.  Maybe longer.


You need a description?  Right.


OK, so he’s about fifty years old, naked, shackled at hands and ankles, with his cock locked in a spiked tube.  Er… recently lost a lot of weight, so his skin kinda hangs off him in wrinkles, his back and ass are covered in whip marks, he has cigarette burns all over his thighs and his mouth is forced wide open with a serrated spreader gag, with a tongue clamp attached.  But he can make a few sounds, and he answers to the name of  - 


What?  Did you say ‘Lucky’?  Why would he answer to the name ‘Lucky’?

Well, why would you think I was going to say that? That's not his name.  I was gonna tell you his name.


An old joke?  Is it? Oh, OK.  I guess.  I don’t really get jokes, actually.  Never had much of a sense of humour.  Just ask anyone... especially my subs.  

Yeah, no problem.  Answers to the name of ‘Useless Fucktard’ anyway.


Sure.  OK, I’ll give you my number and let me know if you find him, OK?  No, I don’t want regular updates. If you find him, great, but if you don’t it’s no big deal.


OK, thanks.  Bye!


The photo that makes this otherwise pointless story, errr, pointful, is of course from American Mean Girls (they seem to have expanded out from Miami).  As I've said before, the 'bratty' teenage humiliatrix thing usually doesn't do it for me, but maybe that's because it's normally done very badly.  I think this site is really very good indeed and it definitely does do it for me, so I recommend a visit.
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Subjugated

November 22, 2016, 1:05 pm
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I think you might be about to experience a consciousness-lowering session.



I'm impressed she's still got the energy after a 10-hour flight. Stewardesses are amazing, don't you think?



At one point I lived near this really seedy red-light district near Spitalfields in London.  Quite early on, I explained to one of the streetwalkers that I disapproved of exchanging money for sex and she was kind enough to let me give her money and then just go away every week thereafter.  I wonder where she is now? The standing order still goes through to her bank account, so I guess she's still around.


Because of this, obviously.  Pervy lot, architects.



Many men find it a bit of a shock at first, being married.  Just try and keep it to no more than 8-10 jolts a day, at moderate settings, and you'll get used to it soon enough.

...and an extra one, for Paltego who enjoys photoshoots of dommes playing pool badly:

 



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Lap of honour

November 25, 2016, 10:53 am
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She uses a system of rewards and penalties.  Some days, when you've done particularly well, you're rewarded by not being penalised.



I wasn't a service oriented submissive when I started out, but my SO sent me on an orientation course.


The other things are negotiable.  Just go ahead and negotiate - but you do have to be in position first, OK?


In any marriage, learning when to communicate - and when to stay silent - is as important as learning how.




I find these networking sites can really eat up my time.  I had fifteen ironing assignments on Slavr last week, for example - took me hours to get all that done - and then there were eight notifcations waiting for me on Spankr.  I thought all this technology was supposed to give us all more free time?
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Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way

November 29, 2016, 11:06 am
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You might want to pay particular attention to the inflight safeword briefing.



Damn.  Maybe we could play backgammon instead?



If it's any consolation, Jerry's no happier about it than you are,  In fact, he's bloody furious.  Try to make him happy, OK?



Hmm.  That's diamonds  eleven times in a row, now. That means hearts must come up next time, right?


I don't want you to get the impression that reading this blog in any way singles you out as a loser, OK? As long as no one ever, ever finds out, then there's nothing to be ashamed of.  Obviously, if they do, then there is but that just means you have to take care, right?
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I worked eleven hours and bought the girl some flowers

December 2, 2016, 6:25 am
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Makes it all worthwhile (trigger warning: link contains scenes of male equality and ordinary life).

It's amazing how much easier the invention of electricity has made these simple tasks. In the old days she'd have had to bend you over, whack you with a birch rod or something... now she just presses a button enough times, and presto you're balancing books! We have a lot to be thankful for.




Most of the book's concerned with proper cleaning and ironing of military uniforms.  You'll be discovering a lot about that, later on. Still - first things first.



Caption writing's like that.  At first, you really agonise about whether you've tersely managed to capture the essence of a scene, but after a while you realise you can just publish any old crap and the sad wankers who read your blog will keep coming anyway, because they only want to look at the pictures.  Which is really great if you run out of original or clever ideas!



Dommes in the city.


Don't worry. She's not going to have to stay on duty for fourteen hours.  They share the time between three of them. It's quite tiring work, whipping men into carrying great piles of stones around, after all.
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Mistress of arts

December 6, 2016, 1:26 pm
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Women, eh? You can't just straight-out discuss something, she has to set up the whole situation just right to 'discuss it'. Oh well.  Better humour her.



That's a very wide hole. Still, maybe there are some guys who need that.  Not jealous...



Phew.  That could have gone quite badly.  Remember the time you bought that fur coat in the wrong shade of silver?


I wonder if in the years to come, he'll regret not having signed more forms?  After all, it's not going to be easy to sign anything, when she's done with him.
 This of course is the sweet and kindly Mistress Jo, of Cruella and British Institution fame.  She's just a softie really.


That's something we've seen a lot of this year - this contemptuous attitude to 'experts'.  She could easily double the efficiency of the plant by not sitting on it, for example, but you just try telling her that...
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