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Because it's summer (13)
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Because it's summer (14)
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Because it's summer (15)
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Because it's summer (16)
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Because it's summer (17)
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Because it's summer (18)
Servitor's still on holiday, hurrah hurrah. This is an automated sequence of posts, while he enjoys himself in the fresh air. His SO will be back in a few days to let him back inside the house and then the usual abnormal service will be resumed.
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| Hmm. Very appropriate. But servitor's not cooped up in a cage, dear readers, instead being free to wander freely within a four metre radius of the steel post in his back garden, all summer. |
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Because it's summer (19)
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Because it's summer (20)
But servitor's summer holiday is nearly over. Soon he'll back in harness, nose to the grindstone and feet to the fire. And back to work straight after that. Ah well. Bumper extra clear-out of particularly old and pointless captions today and tomorrow, same as usual.
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Summer's ending
... and we're back in the room. Probably. This is still the automated post queue set up before servitor went on holiday. But I'm sure everything's fine.
If this turns out to be the last post ever, though, I suppose you'll know there's been a plane crash or something.
...and these will be my last words. From beyond the grave. Strange thought. And such nonsense! Oh well.. perhaps that's only fitting.
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If this turns out to be the last post ever, though, I suppose you'll know there's been a plane crash or something.
...and these will be my last words. From beyond the grave. Strange thought. And such nonsense! Oh well.. perhaps that's only fitting.
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Incorrigible
and believe me, several ladies quite skilled in the art of correction have tried.
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| Truth and consequences. |
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| Best years of your life. |
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| They seem rather indecisive for such otherwise forceful ladies. I hope they make their minds up soon... can't hang about in here all day. |
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| They don't have tribunals for gross professional misconduct in dreams - that could be another way to tell the difference, in due course. |
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| Good to see them upholding basic safe play standards. See, many people think pro-dommes are uncaring but it just ain't so. |
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Before you start, you're already beat
She's going to play you for a fool, yes it's true.
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| I wouldn't mind. Not that anyone would care whether I did or not. |
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| If you're still worried that there might be gay sex involved somewhere, they've offered to sign a written agreement that under no circumstances will you engage in any sexual activity of any sort, ever. OK? So: that's all right. |
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| I think it's good that she still plays with her former boyfriends occasionally. The ones she hasn't broken, anyway. |
This was, and is, the lovely Mistress Mina Thorne who I am sure is a perfect professional and would never do anything even the teensiest bit non-consensual, unless you asked her to. Asked very nicely. But she does have a delightfully wicked smile so I keep featuring images of her doing evil things.
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| You've got to learn to pick up on these little signals now you're married. Guys: the gag means she doesn't want to hear it, OK? |
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| I like this one a lot... S. |
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Put in place
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| So I'm just supposed to hang around until she's ready to talk, eh? Tsk. Bloody typical. |
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| Mmm... keys. |
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| You can give upward feedback too. From waaaay down there. |
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| Hmm. Quite a predicament! Hope little wifey doesn't smell the smoke! You know what she's like... |
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| She really shouldn't have to worry about damage to boys' internal organs. After all, damage to their external organs is so much more fun. |
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The power of love
Make a one man weep, make another man sing.
NB - in my experience, however, you do need a credit card (or more often an envelope stuffed with cash) to ride this particular train.
NB - in my experience, however, you do need a credit card (or more often an envelope stuffed with cash) to ride this particular train.
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| And you don't want to be sore, as well as a loser. |
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| He'll be given a chance to taste the same wine she's drinking too, in due course. |
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| Ah yes. My fault. Of course. |
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| Oh, she should try being a bit more creative. She's in a chemist's shop (trans: pharmacy) after all. I'm sure there will be plenty of things they sell that taste really nasty. Anything labelled 'Not to be taken internally' is worth a go. |
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| He's lucky she's not displeased with him, isn't he? |
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Whack job
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| Women, eh? Why doesn't she just buy both if she can't decide? Why do we always have to go through this endless trying first one, then the other, then the first one again... |
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| I expect you'll be too pre-occupied with thrashing around in agony even to notice. |
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| Hmmm. |
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| Of course. |
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| They're quite a long way out. |
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Kiss me boots, ye scurvy shipworm!
Ahoy shipmates! It be International Talk Like a Pirate Day!
(No, really).
So here be some captions in the self-same theme, m'hearties!
(Oh dear me...)
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Right. Done. We won't be celebrating International Talk Like a Pirate Day again.
(No, really).
So here be some captions in the self-same theme, m'hearties!
(Oh dear me...)
Right. Done. We won't be celebrating International Talk Like a Pirate Day again.
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All that she wants
... she gets.
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| Best not to argue. You don't want to end up with your allowance stopped again. |
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| You would. Well, you can't shoot a smoking scene with unlit cigarettes. Looks like they're going to have to revert to plan B: ball-busting. |
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| And we all know how slowly that can be. |
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| She's going to get their top saleswoman award this month. Quite remarkable, with only one client. |
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| Anyway, she's got a bunch of medical gear, so if it goes wrong she's well-prepared. |
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Long to reign over us
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| Ymmmph. |
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| Like many dommes, she's actually the kindest person you could ever meet. Although she must know that the poor thing's probably already dead, she's going to pull and push and press and kick with all her might, if there's still a chance that could get it out unharmed. |
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| Yes - useful tip there: it's a 'storage space'. I went to the out of town furniture superstore and asked to see beds with an inbuilt cuckie closet and the saleswoman gave me ever such a funny look. She took me to the right section, though, so I suppose that it was all right. And she even let Raoul and my wife try the mattress out, so in the end it worked out quite well for everyone. |
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| Yeah, lots of people say size doesn't matter but they're not the ones being used as pain-toys because it's all they're good for, now, are they? |
The glorious Gigi Allens, of course. Is there a sadder phrase anywhere on the Internet than her self-description as a 'former professional dominatrix'? Howl!
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| Actually, for me it was the maid's costume in that movie. Mrrrow! |
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I know when I've been beaten
You want to get your money's worth, after all.
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| I've always thought that rubbing cold cream on is kind of disrespectful, you know? I mean, if she'd wanted it to hurt less, she could have done it like that, so it's almost as if you're arguing back. |
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| Dommes eh? Will have their little joke. She does that every time, but wise subs will try to laugh each time as if it's still fresh. |
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| Yes. Trying to rescind a slavery agreement if she doesn't want to is technically theft, if you think about it. |
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| Sometimes it's good if a couple are forced closer together by this sort of thing. You might find out how much she really loves you. |
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| There's got to be a joke here somewhere about tenderising the meat. If I think of one, I'll get back to you, OK? |
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Reasons to be fearful
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| You need to be careful about dehydration, as that can cause brain damage. So, if the sub's higher brain functions are important to you, make sure you give him plenty of water. But if not, don't worry about it. |
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| Somehow I'm guessing that saying 'no - sorry, I think there's nothing here like that' would not actually result in the beating being cancelled. |
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| You just have to learn to masturbate without using your hands. Or moving. |
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| It's the difference between a cold, professional relationship and the warm partnership of a real marriage. |
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| There's a lot more of it, though. |
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Unsafe words
...and some bloody dangerous pictures too.
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| Ah, you always need to watch out for the feminine, unthreatening ones. And even more for the feminine, extremely threatening ones, obviously. |
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| Oh well. Something to do while waiting to drive her home, I suppose. |
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| I imagine most readers of this blog will mainly be familiar with this actress from Walk All Over Me, but I understand she was also in a science fiction series on TV. |
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| She wishes she didn't have to do this, you know. She hates pain. Oh no, hang on - that's him. Never mind. She's fine with it. |
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| Actually, I come closest to achieving self respect in precisely those circumstances. But it's never that close, admittedly. ...and a bonus topical one:  |
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