Hi Sweetie! Listen, I met someone you used to work with, last night. I mean, before you lost your job. One of Rob’s friends. Brad – somebody? Yes, that’s right. Tall guy, very good-looking. Was he in your team? Did he? Wow, hard to imagine you being his boss.
Anyway, he’s got your old job, now. Well – sort of. They’ve expanded it a bit, given him two extra divisions to manage I think. They’re doing really well! He said you weren’t very good at winning business because clients found you a bit creepy, or something like that. Funny what a difference these little things make! Oh, and apparently your team never liked you much. But with him in charge, all that’s changed! Isn’t that great?
Anyway, I was telling him you’ve been unemployed all this time, and how desperate you are for work, and that you’re looking for opportunities – and guess what he said!
Apparently, he needs a cleaner! Three hours a day, you know to pick up around his apartment and do the dishes and his laundry and things like that. And he’ll pay 25% over minimum wage – because he says he’s really messy! He told Rob that anyone who'd handwash his dirty socks deserved at least a 25% bonus over minimum wage. He's such a funny guy - had us all laughing all evening.
Well, of course I said you’d love to! So maybe you can pop round today, and he can show you where all the things are.
Oh – and it gets better. He said he’d ask around at work, to see if anyone else needs laundry doing or something! They’re all really busy, and the company gave them all huge bonuses last year, so he reckons there’s a good chance! He even had this brilliant business idea! You could do laundry for the whole team - you know, just pop into your old office two or three times a week and pick it up from anyone who has anything for you, then deliver it all again, all clean and neatly ironed, a day or two later. Wasn't he clever to think of something like that! Maybe that's why he's so much more successful than you were.
Wasn’t that lucky! He’s really nice, actually. I hope he’s there again tonight.