Marriage guidance

May 17, 2016, 2:34 pm

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Honesty is so important in a mariage. I told my wife on our wedding night that I wanted her to be completely honest and open, if my performance in bed wasn't satisfying her, and the very next day she told the hotel staff and a couple of guys we met in a bar all about it.  And since then, she's told all her friends, all my friends, my co-workers and quite a lot of random strangers.  So much better for these things to be out in the open, don't you think?

Oh... that Sonia.  Oh dear.

We can't always get what we want. She can, but we can't.

I guess you could always renegotiate if it isn't working out for one or other of you.

She's got a lot of pain for Doug to work through.

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And all I do is kiss you through the bars of a cage

May 20, 2016, 1:31 am

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... well I would if you put your boot a little closer, anyway.


 

About that which we cannot speak, we must remain silent.

Dommes.. they're all about rules.

 This is the delightful Domina Liza.  I think I'd be happy in her cage forever, if I could see her dressed in green, setting off that stunning auburn hair, from time to time.

Regrets? He's had a few.  And he'll have plenty of time for a few more.

Well, he does need a new companion. Some might say the adventures would be a little dull, if he's never allowed out.  But I'd watch it.

If you know what this caption is about, you might also enjoy this.  Or you might not.

What do you mean, this one doesn't fit today's 'cage' theme?  Of course it does.  The cage isn't actually in the picture, because it hasn't been delivered yet.  But it'll be ready for you when you get back from honeymoon.

Giving until it hurts

May 24, 2016, 2:08 am

≫ Next: Blonde obedience

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I donate all my spare money to the retired dominatrices' malevolent fund. It doesn't make me feel any better about myself, but it saves all that time that I used to waste buying stuff, eating out or going on holiday.

I have a very active fantasy life, as you can tell. Sometimes it does go too far, though.  I mean, really...men's lib??  Come on Servitor...let's try to keep the blog reasonably grounded in reality.

Yes, I've never had any problem with female authority figures.  My difficulty arises when we have 19 year-old female interns around the office.  They're just not used to giving orders or having someone else get their coffee.  But over the course of a six week internship, they usually get the idea.

To cut a long story short: she said so, he protested, she insisted, he tearfully agreed and now it's one of their biggest sellers.  So he can afford to give her even more tribute.  Funny how things work out.

That doesn't mean she would always give you a handjob, of course.

...and why it will continue to happen.

Blonde obedience

May 27, 2016, 7:42 am

≫ Next: 4300 kPa

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You just have to be polite.  You don't have to approve of castration yourself - you're welcome to your own opinion, after all.  She might not take any particular notice of your opinion, but you can have it.

A talent you never knew you had.

I don't uderstand people who pay for vanilla sex. I mean, I go to a dominatrix, it's two hours of punishment and humiliation.  A really rich, varied experience. Pay someone for straight sex and what have you got?  Three seconds of fun, maybe four?

Chemical castration.  Hmm.  Not much fun for her, is it?

Little toys for little boys.

4300 kPa

May 31, 2016, 12:58 pm

≫ Next: I was so upset that I cried

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The pressure exerted by a woman walking in high heels. so it seems. That's a lot of Pascals.  4.3 million Pascals, I suppose.  Makes you think, eh?  And that's assuming she's not actually jumping up and down.

I read that on the Physics Website, which (drawing I suspect on Cutnell, John D., & Kenneth W. Johnson. Physics. 4th ed. New York: Wiley, 1998. 338) explains it this way:

This is approximately 40 atmospheric pressures. Now you realize the full potential of the high heel.

For comparison's sake, would you rather your hand be pummeled by a herd of elephants or a group of angry women wearing high heels?

Sorry, what was that?

Would you rather your hand be pummeled by a herd of elephants or a group of angry women wearing high heels? 

Mmmmm... sounds like you don't read this blog very often, Mr Physics Website.

Anyway, it all seems very instructive. I won't link to the website as I don't think they'd particularly appreciate this source of traffic (yes, dear readers, that's right: I am ashamed of you).   On with what we do on this website, now.

It's not actually the days wearing the collar that will hurt you, in any case.  It's all the things you said and did during those days when you weren't wearing it.

Looks like you're about to get a feel for Russian culture.

Interestingly, a recent survey found that many women with husbands in chastity actually start wearing sexy clothes more often than before.  Women, eh? Always missing the point.  Bless 'em.

Anyway, he's got another ear. So it's not like the time when she - oh, well,, that's another story.

Kafkaesque, no?

I was so upset that I cried

June 3, 2016, 1:45 am

≫ Next: Just a little prick...

≪ Previous: 4300 kPa

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... all the way to the chip shop 

(trigger warning: video is unrelated to the subject matter of this blog, although I suppose those with a really really strong cuckoldry and insult fetish might just about find something in it).

 

And she'll hold on to that very special key, just to make specially sure.

It's true, actually.  There's nothing that drives away mild discomfort quite like agony.

A bit foolish, really.  She could easily claim pro-domme rates for acting as his slavemistress and then where would he be?

I eventually got round to asking my wife whether my performance in bed was OK or not.  I was a bit worried, but actually she was very nice about it.  Said it was so long ago she'd completely forgotten after all these years and why would it matter to anyone anyway?  I was so relieved.

Silly wasting money on a bus when it's only eight miles anyway. Think how good you'd feel putting the bus fare into the fur coat fund instead.  Every little helps.

Just a little prick...

June 7, 2016, 2:12 am

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... oh, I'm not even going to go there.  It's a very old joke and not very funny.

Let's have some brand new and not very funny captions instead.

Dommes don't care about these things, but we subs do.  The taste is quite different, for one thing.

It's good to experiment a bit.

I'm one of her regular clients.  First Tuesday of every month, 9.35 to 9.38.  It gives meaning to my otherwise pointless existence.

Men do seem to be making some pretty strange democratic choices just now, you've got to admit.

um...

Warning

June 7, 2016, 3:27 am

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There's now conclusive evidence of the harmful effects of looking at porn.  These can vary from simple cases of sore knees and light bruising across the face to severe lacerations of the buttocks and intense pain in the genital region.  You have been warned...

...but I expect you're too stupid to do anything about it.  I certainly am.  On with the show.

She's going to be brave for both of you, OK?

Why would I want a new pair?

Hmmm.. but is he really sorry?

 

His n hers.

Convenient too. There's always a queue for the ladies' loo at a wedding.

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What women like

June 10, 2016, 12:24 am

≫ Next: Changing shifts

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So many books about that topic, discussions on the Internet... 

But I've learnt a trick about pleasing women which I find works almost every time. The secret is not to put your own sexual needs first, you see.  Many women are quite pleasantly surprised if you don't insist on sex.  Just hand over the money in an envelope and leave. 

After all, you can always masturbate later, jerking off to pictures on the Internet, alone in your squalid little room.  While she gets on with her life.

Frequent flyers get extra benefits, including staying behind for an hour after landing to clean the whole aircraft.

Her birthday's in eleven days time. She doesn't like too much fat on her boys, you see, but you should be nice and thin for her by then.

You can actually fry them up still attached for maximum freshness, but many people think that's going a bit too far.

Looks like someone hasn't been following Servitor's rules for making women happy! Remember - always leave straight after paying. Or if you've booked with a credit card through an escort service, just tell them it's OK if she doesn't turn up.  Trust me: she'll love it.

Plenty more where that came from, so come on - get it down.

PS - as some of you might know, Blogger provides stats on where the traffic is coming from*.  Mostly Femdom Resource, Google and my Tumblr site, but it also tells you which searches on Google led people here.  Now, normally these are fairly obvious things involving femdom and bootlicking and suchlike wholesome matters**, but this morning we had: "kellogg's frosted mini wheats original, 24 ounce box" and "Brita water filter replacement cartridge".

Woah.  There are some things that are just too kinky even for me.  Take your weird grocery obsessions elsewhere, OK guys?  Let's try to keep it clean here.

* no, stop worrying, it doesn't tell me anything about who you are. Except you, Tom from the US.  Oh - and you too, Mr Collins from the UK.

**and "contemplating the devine" with depressing frequency. Use a dictionary if you're not sure, you stupid males!  That's not even a word, OK?

Changing shifts

June 14, 2016, 5:13 am

≫ Next: Her husband; her rules

≪ Previous: What women like

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Oh hi George, that you?

Hmm? No, I wouldn’t say she’s in a particularly bad mood today.  This is my own fault really – stacked the towels in the wrong order again.  You know how it is. Eighty minutes, eight strokes, then another eighty minutes.  Could be worse.  I had quite a light shift, actually.  A few with the strap and a couple of sesssions of kneeling punishment.  Quite a relief after last time, I can tell you.

Nothing much to report.  There’s some of her friend Julie’s laundry in, to be ready for 5.30.  And she wanted me to do the kitchen, so the bathroom’s still to do, OK?

Oh by the way, we’re a bit short on washing up liquid, so try and go easy on it, will you?  My shift starts at 6am tomorrow, so I won’t have a chance to buy any more until Thursday.  Wouldn’t want to earn any more demerit points, not this close to the end of the month. And you know how she is about the washing up, especially when she's having a party.

Oh - hasn't she said?  Yes, this Saturday.  I expect she'll tell you today, because we're both going to be on duty, I think.  Trevor’s going to be setting up, then you and I are doing maid service and clean up.  House inspection 9am Sunday, then we get the rest of the day off if it's all satisfactory.  With two of us working overnight that should be all right.  It's the Saturday evening I'm worried about, to tell the truth.  I heard her mention that that vicious little cow Marianne’s going to be there.  You remember?  The one who made us all dance with those weights attached at New Year.  So we might be in for rather a rough time, I’m afraid. Glad it’s not just going to be me.

Ermm… listen, old boy.  You couldn’t do me a favour and straighten my stocking tops could you?  You’d be saving me four strokes at least.  No need for her to know, eh?

Oh come on, George.  I’d do the same for you, you know I would.

OK, well I understand.  You’re probably right. She does always seem to find these things out, doesn’t she? We’ll just forget I said anything.

You, ermm… you won’t tell her I asked you, will you? I mean, I know we're supposed to tell her about any rule infractions, but... you know.  Honour among maids and all that.  Hmm?

George?

George, are you still there?

Her husband; her rules

June 17, 2016, 1:09 am

≫ Next: How I loved you, How I cried.....

≪ Previous: Changing shifts

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It's only fair, right?

She can certainly make you less happy in the days and years to come, should she choose to do so. Thoroughly miserable, in fact.  So in that sense, today is indeed the high point.

Sounds exciting!  Some sort of wet 'n' messy play, I imagine?

Yes, you really must stay to comfort her. It can't have been easy for her, losing three husbands in a row like that.

 I don't usually link to tumblrs but I will give a shout-out to Strict Widow, as I love the concept and I'm using it quite a lot for material!

Ah - a caption turning on the finer points of English grammar.  One for the Editor Domme, there.

 While we're on the subject of tumblrs...  Just remember you're apostrophe's if you comment on her site, for gods sake, OK?

Dominant males quite often feature in this blog, actually.  You can't always tell the difference between them and the subs, but believe me, when I post a picture of some male under female control, with hands secured and cock firmly locked away or absent, it's often a male dom formerly known as "Master Roger" or some such.

...and here's an extra one, without words.  

How I loved you, How I cried.....

June 21, 2016, 1:35 am

≫ Next: A little bit of politics there...

≪ Previous: Her husband; her rules

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And I still do both, I'm very glad to say.

Of course, you can still try negotiating your way out of this if you ask nicely.  I mean, it only took her an hour to get all that ready.  She won't mind.

 The lovely Mistress Mina Thorne, of course.  You knew that already, right?  Course you did - you read Femdom Resource.

And then it'll be the turn of the next one, and so on for the rest of the evening.

Sounds like she's looking after him very well.

Men rarely think these things through.  Some of us are lucky enough to have plenty of time to think things through, free from any distractions except the sight of the corner of the room and the feeling of a sore bottom.

It's not the crime; it's the cover-up. And it's not the paddle or the strap; it's the cane.

A little bit of politics there...

June 22, 2016, 2:13 am

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[NB: Brexit-related post not of any interest to readers who is not Bri-ish and of little enough to those who are]

As they say, if voting changed anything, they really shouldn't let men do it.  But it can, and sadly they do, so with some reluctance Servitor posted off his vote to remain in the European Union (which includes the Czech Republic, remember), wistfully hoping for the day when only the superior gender has such a privilege.

Of course, I wouldn't dream of seeking to advise or influence any female readers of this blog in their important political deliberations.  But for the rest of you, burdened with Y-chromosomes... never mind the economics, never mind the discussions about sovereignty vs effective weight in the politics of the world, fundamentally all you need to know about the Brexit referendum is this:

Ooh la la.

Yup.  Mistress Eleise lives in Paris. So the fewer border controls the better.  Aaand, it's really none of my business, I don't know the nationality of all of these ladies for definite, but let me just say, that there are certain advantages in allowing citizens of other EU countries to live and work in Britain.


Nuff said, I'd say.


I was going to try to do the usual five captions, themed around Brexit, but I got too bored and depressed and they were all kind of samey, so here's as far as I got. Normal service resumes on Friday.

Outnumbered

June 24, 2016, 3:07 am

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Mens lib is fine in theory, but someone has to lick out the ashtrays, don't they?  So I don't see how it could ever work in practice.

They don't aprove of modern fads. Actually, there are lots of things they don't approve of.  As you'll discover.

Everyone makes little mistakes when they start out.  No real harm done.

 The parts of the dommes in this little tale were played by two dommes, by an odd coincidence.  The extraordinarily wonderful (as I can personally attest)Lady Sophia Black  and Ms Morigan Hel, whom I briefly met once before Ms Sophia dragged me away, and is probably equally but differently extraordinarily wonderful.

Don't worry - he's not a real schoolboy.  And that's not really his mother.  And the person on the left who seems to be an attractive young blonde lady in a doctor's coat is actually a 57 year-old computer scientist from Gujurat called Deepak.  Femdom porn... it's all fake, really, isn't it?

Time to explain to them that you're not into that, I suggest.

I stand, corrected

June 28, 2016, 3:37 am

≫ Next: Back to black

≪ Previous: Outnumbered

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Every Sunday from 2pm to 4pm, and usually once or twice during the week as well.

It's a shame, but if Beth's not prepared to put in the effort of whipping him to get the house the way it should be, she just has to go.

Of course, she can do it herself.  But it's good to have a really thorough going-over by a  professional every so often too, don't you think?

And even if you weren't thinking it then, you certainly thought it when she mentioned it, didn't you?  So - no excuses.

They say the first four hours are the worst.  They're wrong.

Dommes.  Not always easy to please. But then, that's not why we visit them.

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Back to black

June 30, 2016, 3:14 pm

≫ Next: It's what I go to dommes for

≪ Previous: I stand, corrected

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You'll be in real trouble if he doesn't.

I've always been confused about my masculinity. I went to a therapist once, but she just laughed hysterically the whole time.  12 one-hour sessions...I got worried she might do herself some injury, but they do say laughter is the best medecine.

Yes.  So much easier being a domme - if you're having a bad day, just take it out on your clients.

They say women don't like men who come quickly, but every woman in whose presence I've ever achieved orgasm always just seemed to want to get it over with as quickly as possible.  I suppose it maximises their income per hour.

Just one of many things that can go wrong. Good thing nothing important got damaged this time.

It's what I go to dommes for

July 5, 2016, 2:57 pm

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...you can call me crazy...

(Kinky bit is 2.18 in if that's really all you're after. Pervert).

Of course, as long as everyone keeps quiet there's no way she can find out who wrote it.  And it's not as if she can cane the whole class just because one boy misbehaved now, is it?

They do need male teachers, though.  Every time they seem to have got the male/female ratio on the staff up, another lot disppear and they have to start again.  So at least you've got job security: there's that to be said for it.

Cold cream?  And, ermm... not being beaten?

What a bad girl.

I wrote this caption last year, surprisingly enough.

5-point turn

July 8, 2016, 5:01 am

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≪ Previous: It's what I go to dommes for

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More turning points.  Captioned images of situations that aren't femdom.  Just click on 'turning points' in the word cloud there if you don't know what I'm talking about, or click on a link to somewhere else if you also don't care.

He works if you hurt him

July 12, 2016, 7:01 am

≫ Next: Thank Goddess it's Friday!

≪ Previous: 5-point turn

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So keep coming back.

I expect there's some good news as well.  Just not for them.

You're about to find out what happened to all the other pizza delivery boys, by the look of it.

The worrying thing is that there's at least 900 strokes of the cane due from missed weekly whippings. Still, plenty of time. He's only 58 years old... or is it 57?

And the really good bit of the scheme is he gets to ask for another ticket to be drawn as often as he likes.  Or as often as she likes.

She's got a point there, actually.  And did you know that a cloth and a dab of polish will get boots much cleaner than even eight hours of careful tongue-work? It's true.  We could get the whole femdom thing done a lot quicker if we just took more advantage of modern technology.

Thank Goddess it's Friday!

July 15, 2016, 8:30 am

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It's always such a relief to get home on a Friday evening after a tough week at work, when there's still a few hours to make an early start on the weekend chores.

It's a bit disappointing that they started without you, actually.  Maybe you should say something? Marriages should be founded on mutual respect.

What a lot of canes she has. One would be quite enough to reduce me to total obedience.  Women, eh?  Can't control those shopping instincts.  Bless 'em.

Some time it really has to be my turn to serve. Surely.

Most blokes only play at 10, you see, and where can you go from there?

A very good point.  Sexual identity can be complicated.  Best to have someone else in charge of it, I say.

The lovely Mistress Akella, there.  But I forgot!  You're gay (now) - so I don't suppose you're that interested in her?


Incidentally, readers, have any of you noticed that the new British Prime Minister has the same name as a rather splendid British domme?  Well, there's an 'h' of difference but that's all.  I can't see the coincidence doing either of their careers any good at all, to be honest, but I wish both well.