Mr Isaacs? Oh hi – I’m Suzie Brooks. I just wanted to come and introduce myself, because I’m going to be your castration nurse this afternoon.
Yes, well I just think it’s more friendly this way. You know – if the hands that are holding your testicles don’t belong to a complete stranger!No, that’s right, I’m certainly not a doctor. I’m a student nurse, actually! I’m being assessed on this afternoon’s operation, so if you can – you know – say what a good job I did, that would really help.
Oh god, no! You’re not the first. I’ve done…oooh, let me see. I think you’re the eleventh, actually. I want to specialise in castrations, you see – I really love it. Hoping to get a transfer to the sissy ward.
Sorry – that’s just what we call it. You won’t say anything, will you? Thanks!
So, do you have any concerns about the operation?
Well, duh! I mean apart from not wanting to have your balls cut off! Obviously!
I haven’t met a man who wanted it yet! I had this really angry guy last time – serial rapist, apparently! Anyway, he was straining at the bonds, and shrieking and yelling blue murder – what a business! Still, we got him done. One less rapist out there, eh?
Oh don't worry, I know you’re not! I read your file. Yes – it was just sexual harassment in the office, wasn’t it? You told a sexist joke or something?
Well, OK. But she thought it was sexist, obviously, and that's what matters. Maybe she over-reacted, I suppose. Some women do. There’s always two sides to the story, aren’t there? Still, better to nip it in the bud now, just in case.
No – she’s not coming. We invited her, of course. Most complainants like to be there – they get to choose the exact moment when I cut. It’s really annoying, actually. I’m standing there holding the balls in one hand, holding the handle of the elastrator in the other. And I have to wait until they say go… and some of them take their time, I can tell you. Slow countdowns, that kind of thing. And that handle’s really highly sprung – basically I just have to loosen my grip, and the two handles spring apart and the wire does the rest. Kind of like a cheese wire – you know?
Anyway, it’s a lot easier if the victim’s not there. I can just pop them off straight away. Nothing to it.
So…is there anything I can do to make you a bit more comfortable? No, I’m afraid those have to stay on. If we stretch the ball sack like that for a few hours before, the cut’s a lot cleaner. Actually, the ward nurse will probably be along in a moment to double the weight. There’s only two hours to go, after all.
OK, then. Well, I’ll be back in a couple of hours.
And… don’t forget what I said about the assessment, OK? I know it’s just a routine op, but…well, it’s really important for me. Good firm grip, straight into position with the elastrator in a nice smooth movement, not being put off by pleading, or by the screaming when I cut – that’s the kind of thing they’re looking for, OK?
Great. Well here comes the nurse with your extra weights. See you later!