What? No I’m not. Well...maybe I am. It’s complicated. I mean, yes I am a model, but I haven’t gone by the name “Alison Lawson” for years. I’m Ali Landry now. I was Miss America – now I’m a - well, I'm a 'supermodel', I guess. Sounds really fancy, but, you know - that's what the magazines call me.
Alison Lawson was just a stage name when I used to do these glamour shoots for fetish sites, before I really made it. I was always a stern nanny type – spanking naughty boys, putting them in diapers, dressing them up in little girls' clothes and making them stand in the corner. That kind of thing - not the harsh dominatrix in leather. I had this kind of loving discipline image, I think. It was a bit weird at first, but it paid the rent while I was building my portfolio with the fashion shoots. The great thing about that kind of fetish is that you don't have to go naked - that can really kill a career in fashion modelling.Strict old Alison Lawson. God… that really takes me back. Anyway – always good to meet a fan. What’s your name?
Really? No way! You’re Emma’s fiancé! Oh wow! Well I’m Ali, aren’t I? Her oldest friend. She must have talked about me?Yes, I thought so. She’s told me everything about you!
Well…maybe not everything, come to think of it. I think I might know something she doesn’t, hmm?
With apologies to the divine Ms Landry, who - to the eternal regret of perverts everywhere - almost certainly did not start her career modelling spanking shoots as a strict nanny called Alison Lawson. I say 'almost certainly' because I will admit I have not actually checked.