As regular ‘readers’ of this blog will know, I don’t go in much for discussion of the philosophy and practice of ‘real’ femdom. This blog doesn’t try to be realistic; it’s just supposed to be fantasy and fun.
But at the risk of trespassing on Paltego’s turf I do have a question to the ‘community’ to see what they think and it is this: is femdom porn (or any kind of kinky porn, perhaps) just more interesting than ‘regular’ porn?
This question has occurred to me for a few reasons. One is that we are coming up to this blog’s ten-year anniversary (more on that in a couple of weeks' time) and I have been looking back through my own witterings. The other is that, for various reasons, I have been revisiting some magazines that were my first proper femdom porn – Cruella, Goddess, Vixen and Mistress – and reminding myself how extraordinarily exciting I found them to be, in my early 20s. I hung on every word of their stories, could barely read more than a sentence or two at a time without having to put them down, swooning with excitement and savouring the anticipation of where the story would go next.
And that’s the point: femdom porn (the sort I like, anyway) tells a story. There’s a lot that can happen in that story: fear, dread, forgiveness, revenge, cruelty, false hope, humiliation, trickery etc etc. I spend a lot of time trying to think up new ways in which the ladies in my captions and stories can be cruel, preferably with an unexpected twist, and from time to time I succeed. I’ve been doing that for ten years on this blog and I am not finished yet. I’m not saying every caption or story I put up is a new idea – far from it, there are some well-worn themes – but some are new and I certainly seek out and value novelty. Mainstream porn seems to lack that element… fundamentally, it’s about the sex act. There are various inventive ways in which one can lead up to the sex act (it doesn’t have to be a plumber coming around to fix her pipes) and then there are some variations in the sex act itself, to be sure: different holes, combinations, positions. But that does not seem to close the story-telling gap – the femdom porn I like won’t usually feature any sexual acts at all, it is all ‘story’. And it should have unexpected twists and inventions that make the reader think 'I never thought of that', if it’s good.
I am raising this question about porn, but it applies to femdom more generally. Although some of the pro-dommes I have sessioned with allow a 'happy release' at the end, not all do and it is certainly not the main focus of the session. That might be humiliation, control, pain: again, a good domme (and there are so many wonderful ones) constructs a narrative, a story.
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| Femdom porn image. There's a lot going on here. One could write 5-6 different stories about this at least. Why is he in the cage, how did she get him in there? What is going to happen to the collared guy lying on the floor? She's wearing boots: is she going to kick him, stomp him, make him lick them...? There's a cane, on the couch. What is the significance of the steel box to the right - is someone else in there already, is one of these two going in there? Is the box a 'next level' punishment after the cage? She is looking at us - so are we there? Are we next? There is so much here for the imagination. |
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| And mainstream porn (from the first page of a search just with the word 'porn'). I can see they're having a lot of fun. And again, one could tell stories of what happened before and what might happen next - but not stories specifically inspired by elements of the picture. I can understand that other people find 'mainstream'sex as exciting as I find femdom to be, but the porn itself, the fantasy itself just seems a lot less... interesting. |
To make it a bit more personal: my own sexuality is 100% kinky. That is, I don’t get excited at all by thoughts of vanilla sex. If I watch a mainstream porn video, I can get a bit into the suggestive looks and flirting in the initial five minutes, but then the remainder of it – the grinding and licking and thrusting and so on – does nothing for me. But I am absolutely obsessed with femdom fantasy, as the ten years of this blog demonstrates. I know that some others like both mainstream and femdom, so maybe they are better placed to answer the question than I am.
I’m porn-addicted, in fact – I can spend many hours at a time on the Internet looking for and writing femdom stuff, I can lie in bed for hours constructing elaborate scenarios and so on… I won’t provide sweaty details. But I guess what I am wondering, is: if I did not have this kink, would I be as interested in ‘normal’ sexual fantasies as I am in femdom fantasies; interested in the same way? If only my inclination were that way – if I were magically transformed by some kind of psychotherapy so that instead of fantasising about being humiliated and punished by women, I just fantasised about having sex with them? Would I seek out and construct equally elaborate fantasies? Could I have put up 5000 captioned images about people having sex, instead of the 5000 or so I have published on my more twisted and evil themes? Would I enjoy looking back through them and reminding myself of what I came up with as much as I do?
It doesn’t seem to me that I could or would. There just doesn’t seem to be enough going on in ‘normal’ sex. I certainly feel that if I were 'normal' I would have lost something because the vanilla imagination is much more limited, even though there would obviously also be advantages (less need for secrecy, better integration of my sexuality and my personal relationships). But is that actually true, or does that just reflect the limits on my imagination created by my existing sexual orientation?